DARE TO ASK: Those who 'dare' to do it themselves

By PHILLIP MILANO, The Times-Union

Question

Why does it seem that many people look down on people who do things for themselves, like washing your own car?

Butterfli, 20, female, Oregon

Replies

If your pay rate is $8 an hour, and it costs $15 to have someone else wash your car, then do it yourself. But if you could spend that hour working to improve your marketability toward getting a higher-paying job, or developing a business lead to bring in a big sale, then pay someone else to do the grunt task. That's what rich people do. It's not "looking down" so much as asking, "Is what you're doing really the most effective use of your time?"

J.G.W., 35, male,

Come on. Do it yourself is not necessarily done out of economics, but out of pride.

Chris, 20, Clemson, S.C.

When we moved three years ago, we hired movers to transport our belongings. We could not afford to have my husband have an injury. He is a mechanic, and his job doesn't offer disability insurance. It was worth it to pay someone else because the alternative if he got injured would have been to lose his income and our house.

L.M., 38, Jacksonville

Wow! What a sad reply, J.G.W. Living the way you've described might leave me financially secure, but personally, socially and intellectually destitute.

Vail, 40, male, Philadelphia

A man needs hobbies. If I want to tuck-point my own chimney, I should not be judged imprudent.

Marc, 43, Highland Park, Ill.

I just finished grouting my shower, so you have some idea where I stand on the issue.

Gatorboy, 55, Melbourne

Some people value going out and interacting with others rather than being hermits holed up in their homes, endlessly working on DIY projects.

Steve, Columbus, Ohio

Expert says

Come clean: Don't you just want to tell your neighbor who's incessantly washing his boat to knock it off and come inside and watch a git-'er-done TV show with you? ("Hey Wally, c'mon! Extract That Tooth is starting in less than 10 minutes on DIY! I've got Tostitos Scoops!")

The reality is that people who pay others to do their menial chores aren't looking down on others, says Darren Berkovitz of DoMyStuff.com, which lets a person "outsource" tasks like grocery shopping or painting a fence to someone else.

"If it's been awhile since you did work yourself, I think people get used to that, so when they see others doing it themselves, they just can't relate," he said. "But in America everyone can make their own decisions."

Ultimately a person must calculate what economists call the "opportunity cost" of do-it-yourself work vs. farming it out.

Business and feedback has been great so far to DoMyStuff.com, Berkovitz said.

"People are busier than ever. This lets them save a few extra hours to spend time with their family, go golfing or do whatever they choose."

Phillip Milano, author of I Can't Believe You Asked That! (Perigee), moderates cross-cultural dialogue at Y? The National Forum on People's Differences. Visit www.yforum.com to submit questions and answers.